Moving to Mexico

#1
Dear Mr. President:

I'm planning to move my family and extended family into Mexico for my health, and I would like to ask you to assist me.

We're planning to simply walk across the border from the U.S. into Mexico , and we'll need your help to make a few arrangements.

We plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws. I'm sure they handle those things the same way you do here. So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Calderon, that I'm on my way over?

Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:

1. Free medical care for my entire family.

2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.

3. Please print all Mexican government forms in English.

4. I want my grandkids to be taught Spanish by English-speaking (bi-lingual) teachers.

5. Tell their schools they need to include classes on American culture and history.

6. I want my grandkids to see the American flag on one of the flag poles at their school.

7. Please plan to feed my grandkids at school for both breakfast and lunch.


8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy access to government services and be able to vote.

9. I do plan to get a car and drive in Mexico , but, I don't plan to purchase car insurance, and I probably won't make any special effort to learn local traffic laws.

10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from their president to leave me alone, please be sure that every patrol car has at least one English-speaking officer.

11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put U S. flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.

12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, or have any labor or tax laws enforced on any business I may start.

13. Please have the president tell all the Mexican people to be extremely nice and never say a critical things about me or my family, or about the strain we might place on their economy.

14. I want to receive free food stamps.

15. Naturally, I'll expect free rent subsidies.

16. I'll need Income tax credits so although I don't pay Mexican Taxes, I'll receive money from the government.

17. Please arrange it so that the Mexican Gov't pays $ 4,500 to help me buy a new car.

18. Oh yes, I almost forgot, please enroll me free into the Mexican Social Security program so that I'll get a monthly income in retirement.

I know this is an easy request because you already do all these things for all his people who come to the U.S. from Mexico .I am sure that President Calderon won't mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely.....

Thank you so much for your kind help.
You're the man!!!
 
#2
only one question: if mexico sounds that good, why do the mexicans want to come to this country? JK JK... things will get better, there is an election next year
 
#3
It's gonna take a long time to fix this FU** up.
I'm in great hopes that the Republican party has more to offer than Donald Trump. He couldn't manage his own company, I'm not so trusting to let him have a go at the entire Gov. On second thought, there's not a lot he can do to make it any worse.
 
#4
The problem isnt just the democrats and healthcare though. The republicans are just not interested in telling Mexico to keep thier people there. They dont want to spend the money either...I wonder how much less it would cost to protect the border than give them free helathcare...I think we need to just let texas succeed from the union, become thier own country, and deal with the illegals in the way texas does best....big weapons :)
 
#5
Politically incorrect

I had just come out of the store with two porterhouse steaks, a jumbo sausage, a bag of chips, and a 6-pack of beer. A homeless man sat there and said, "I haven't eaten for two days."
I told him, "I wish I had your frickin’ will power."

Top tip: if you're camping in the summer and the attractive girl in the next tent tells you that because it's so hot she will be sleeping with her flaps open, it's not necessarily an invitation to casual sex. Wish me luck.....I appear in court next Monday.

A fat girl served me food in McDonalds at lunch time. She said, 'sorry about the wait.' I said, 'don't worry, you're bound to lose it eventually.'

Snow in the forecast! The TV weather gal said she was expecting 8 inches tonight, I thought to myself "fat chance with a face like that!"

Years ago it was suggested 'that an apple a day kept the doctor away.' But since many doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works best.

I took my Biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently Blacks and Mexicans were not the correct answers.
 
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